Disaster

Okay, so this is quite embarrassing. I’ve spent some time trying to figure out a good cover story, but the true story is like this: I was out jogging. I was coming to the end of my run so of course I was speeding up to use the last remaining energy. I was running really fast. Like a cat through the dark and this is an important point and I cannot stress it enough: It was VERY dark. As dark as it gets. Anyways, I was running along with the speed of light and I figure I should blame the city of Oslo for what happened really, because they had turned off the street light and don’t maintain the roads properly. Okay, so I trip in a hole in the road and off I went. You remember that I was running very light-speedy-fast? Now I’m sort of doing the same thing except it is more or less some sort of flying. It is all going so fast that I don’t really have time to think of much at all, but if I had had the time, I think I would have thought something like this: “I have not fallen like this for twenty years. I am no longer qualified. I no longer possess the skill to fall like this without causing serious damage (read: pain) to the body.” Did I remember to say that I was running down hill? Hm. I guess I wasn’t running anymore at this point. I go on my hands and knees, leaving as much skin as possible behind, and I do remember this thought quite vigorously: “Not the face! Not the face!” It was a good thought. Finally I stop. I am still alive, but my glasses are broken and there is a lot of blood in odd places. I hump myself home and realize that I have to go to the emergency room where a surgeon can remove the rocks that have embedded themselves into my body. Joy.